Imagine doing the work you do, but in constant pain. Boggles the mind doesn't it?
That's exactly what your mate is going through day and night!
As few relationships survive Fibromyalgia Syndrome(FMS) and having lived with a fms sufferer for 20 years, I have come to terms with it and I am happy to share these conclusions with you. In the hope that your relationship will be one that survives.
"In sickness and in health" takes all it's meaning doesn't it?
These twelve suggestions should help. They really helped me to have a more meaningful relationship in spite of FMS.
There is no magic involved, just plain old common sense mixed with compassion and lot's and lot's of love.
1.Be patient. Being patient in all you do will help in avoiding frustration.
2.Be supportive. This doesn't mean being invasive. Give your mate time alone. Time to get over wild mood swings, or flare ups, or time to reflect on what is happening to him or her.
3.Be available. Let your spouse know you are available to listen, cajole or for a much needed massage.
4.Be understanding. This won't make your mate feel less pain, but it will release anguish and guilt feelings.
5. Be creative in finding ways to make your spouse's life easier. If the arms are afflicted lift heavy objects for her/him, legs; rearrange the furniture as to avoid unnecessary walking. Use your imagination! over time you will find a whole slew of simple, easy ways to make the pain more bearable
6. Whenever possible accompany him/her to support group. Don't delude yourself, your mates syndrome affects you too. You may find other spouses present who will gladly share their experiences with you.
7. Be attentive. You will learn warning signs of pain flare-ups or mood swings. This will make your help even more effective.
8. Be financially supportive. Money can be scarce but part of the budget will have to be earmarked for the needs not covered by a health plan. The reward? A healthier and happier spouse!
9. Be truthful. Tell your mate how you truly feel. Please, no whining or guilt trips. Your spouse feels enough guilt as it is in imposing her syndrome on you.
10. Remember, the pain won't lift because your libido does.
11. Don't take everything personally! Learn to know when it's the pain talking.
12. You may say you love your mate, Now is the time to prove it! Prove your commitment goes beyond mere words and intentions. It may not be easy (what is anyway?)but it sure is worth it! trust me!
In conclusion, the success of your relationship may rest entirely on your commitment and the belief on each other to shoulder it's share of the burden.
Go ahead, love each other no matter what!!
Then you will have the kind of relationship you truly deserve. You will find yourself empowered by involving you in the fight your mate is engaged in. The days of the lonely, helpless, "silent victim" are over!
More and more groups are formed. We gain strength in numbers and more important, political weight putting pressure for research funds wich are(pardon the pun)"sorely needed".
There is so much to be done! and even more that will need to be in the future. There is no need for you to feel helpless!
Don't give up! Join your mate! Fight FMS. Together as a team and above all LOVE EACH OTHER!!
Copyright(c)By Claude Gagne Subscribe to KLODMusicZine">
Keywords: fibromyalgia, pain, fibro, FMS,
